Let’s talk clingers.
I am not sure why girls always get the bad rep for being desperate and clingy because in my personal experience I have gotten the brunt of cling wrap supreme, the whole press and seal deal from men. Although, being a woman I am perceptive. So if I am texting a guy and I sense that he isn’t feeling it that much, or isn’t as extensive in his texts as he has been in the past I’m not like,
“Hey what’s wrong??”
“Are you okay?”
“Let’s hang out soon. I feel like we haven’t talked in person in foreveerrrrrr!!”
Naw, I just don’t text him as much. I REFLECT the energy he is giving off. Because I know there is nothing as repulsive as DESPERATION, ironic isn’t it? The more they try to claw for you the more you wanna be like,
Can I also get one word in about this “TEXTING GAME”? So I don’t have a smart phone (repeat don’t have a smart phone). I know, I know what kind of millennial am I? What can I say, I’m an anomaly. So I am not constantly on my phone, and texting isn’t as easy as it is on a smart phone (I mean, you remember high school, right? t9 shit). Also I have two jobs and an internship so I am always busy AF. Finally, I straight up don’t like texting so sometimes I won’t text someone back for hours (or even days) simply because I don’t “feel” like it. In short, I don’t spend hours crafting the perfectly witty response or wringing my fists about time in between texts. I just reply what I want when I want. Boom.
With that prelude out of the way,
Let me tell you the story of the man who self destructed…
So this guy, an alright guy. I have known him a while through mutual friends, handsome enough, funny enough – yanno, nothing I was head over heels for, but he was there. He isn’t from Chicago so he offers to come visit me for a day or two. I was like “sure”. I mean, I didn’t take off work or anything. If he wants to come, why not let him, right? So he comes and yadda yadda, show him around the city, get a little drunk, etc etc. and I’m like, “okay bye“.
Except now this dude, lets call him CLING, CLING thinks we are going to date or something. He literally texted me,
and like a nice, reasonable young woman, I replied (this time with haste),
I was so very confused. I thought the arrangement we had made was like every guy’s dream. Hot, cool girl in a kick ass city, down to get down, no strings attached. What more could you want? Plus I live 6 hours away from the guy. I am not about to drive there any time soon. I was fine with him coming to visit me, but I didn’t INVITE him, yanno, I wasn’t like “PLEASE COME VISIT ME, I’M SO LONELY HERE IN CHICAGO” no, I have great time here.
Anyways so I keep it real with this dude, text him back every once in a while. And one day he just completely destroys any kind of chance he could have had at hooking up with me ever again. And I did nothing to stop him. I literally did nothing. He was sending text after text after text and I just kind of let him. All in all, it saved me a lot of energy.
So, let me leave you with some words of wisdom about desperation. If you are in a situation where you kind of feel like you are always the one initiating conversations, sending paragraph texts and receiving one word responses, exclusive with them but unsure if they are exclusive with you etc. Let me help ya out.
- Like I said before, REFLECT their energy. Be yourself, I implore you, but pushing them harder when they are backing off a little is a sure way from them to jump off your dick completely. Don’t show your crazy cards too quickly. You wanna wait, like, a year into a relationship before you let your partner know that you are actually insane. Chances are, they are just busy with stuff, or you will find out that they aren’t that into you. Either way, you find out eventually. Don’t stress. Just let it play out.
- Take off the rose-tinted glasses and look back into your memory (like that scene in 500 days of Summer). Look at it realistically, not romantically and THEN assess the situation. Pretty, funny, cool girls can give you the ILLUSION that you are in a more exclusive situation than you are actually in. They are good at doing that, so you pay for their drinks and stuff. It is a skill.
- Most importantly, remember, IF THEY WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, THEY WOULD BE WITH YOU!!! This happens to all of us. I am not immune to it either, I am just receptive to it. I, too have experienced being more into a guy than he is into me, but I am in touch with reality and I realize that I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS. I am not about to waste my time with someone who doesn’t treat me the way I should be treated. So I’m just like “alright cya” and I am on to the next one. We all need to know what we are worth.
All in all, at the end of the day you are great, amazing, interesting, don’t waste your time with someone like me who is going to treat you like shit. You rock, go rock some lucky girl or guy’s socks.