There Are Things We Can’t Recall

I am a vivid dreamer.

My subconscious overflows with stored images.

BIRDIE has been in my dreams for the past two weeks almost every night. The narrative is pretty much the same every time. I confess that I still love him, and he is hesitant, but he agrees to give things another try, we kiss, we hug, sometimes cry a little.

The other night in my dream when I was hugging him, I was trying to smell him. I kept inhaling because I missed his scent. Did I know I was dreaming? I couldn’t smell anything, I have lost that memory.

Six years of one body, one scent, one voice – and yet, there are things I can’t recall.

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2 thoughts on “There Are Things We Can’t Recall

  1. Sometimes I’ll panic a bit when I fear I’m losing a treasured memory. Luckily for us, usually memories are just temporarily misplaced in another part of our mind and will come back at some point. Smell is definitely the most potent memory extractor for me. Sometimes I’ll lie in my bed at night and in those moments between waking and sleep I’ll catch just the right whiff and it will fill in the blanks and I’ll be lost in my memory of Sierra (my last affair), I’ll smell her, see her, and feel her for those brief moments. But, I know what you mean, I wish I could pull back every memory of her at will and play them back like a home movie, sometimes I feel like I’m losing them, and maybe the memories are decaying, but then I get the right scent or the right feeling and I’ll be taken on a journey to see her again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well the olfactory region of your brain which interprets smell is located near the amygdala and hippocampus which are responsible for memory and emotion. So it makes perfect sense to me that scents can take you back to a memory quickly and with such power. The thing that stumps me is that we can’t recall scents from memory. For example I can recall visions, I can “picture” people or events in my mind’s eye. I can even recall the sound of someone’s voice. But I am puzzled that we can’t imagine or recall a scent. We can think of what it is like, we know the smell is “like this or that” but we can’t smell it in our “mind’s nose” haha. The brain confounds me.
      But yes, I have an obsession with remembering and cataloging my life’s events, and I have an extremely hard time “letting go”. So when I feel like I am losing or have lost something that meant/means so much to me, it really affects me.

      Liked by 1 person

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